Posted in Faith, Personal Development

Get Rid of the Victim Mentality


I was at the end of my rope. My baby girl had been in the hospital for two weeks. Born with spina bifida, she would require extra care than my other babies had. Before we could go home, I had to learn from the nurses how to care for her. The impossibility of the task ahead overwhelmed me.

As I sat in the chapel, doubts flooded my mind. Having a child with special needs was never what I had imagined. I was already struggling to be a good mother to my other four children. This had failure written all over it. I could see this would be the end of my life as I knew it.

I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at the ceiling in despair, “I can’t do this! I don’t have what it takes!” As my sobs subsided, I felt prompted to read Psalm 63. Instantly I heard the words of verses 2 – 4 set to a beautiful melody. I sang it over and over, and a sense of peace surrounded me. Suddenly I believed everything would be okay, even though I had no idea what lay ahead.

I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

I went from feeling like a victim of circumstances to believing somehow, with God’s strength, I was a victor.

I traded in a victim mentality for a victor mentality.

Isn’t it interested that these two words—victim and victor—are spelled so similarly, and yet can affect our lives so differently?

The victim mentality assumes the worst and prepares to be harmed or injured as a result.

The victor mentality knows that, no matter what happens, it will be well. Suffering is only temporary, and triumph will result.

What about you? What usually happens when you encounter a problem or difficulty? Do you default to the victim mentality? Do you default to the victor mentality?

The victim mentality is based separate from the Lord. There is fear, doubt, and negativity. It is the ultimate form of unbelief.

The victor mentality is based on the truth of God’s Word.

We live in the strength God gives us.
…the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world (1 John 4:4b).

God transforms all things for our good and His glory.
God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28). Incidentally, the Lord used the events surrounding my daughter’s birth to allow me to make a CD, a dream in my heart since I was a teenager. Psalm 63 is one of the songs on the album.

We are always more than conquerors.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37-39).

Don’t allow the victim mentality to dominate your life. We serve a victorious God who always causes us to win through Jesus Christ. We are victors not victims!


Heavenly Father, thank You for defeating the enemy. No matter what I encounter, You are always with me. You have made me more than a conqueror. Teach me to believe and follow Your Word. Help me trade in the victim mentality for the victor mentality. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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