Posted in Faith, Personal Development

Just Be

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I had the joy of attending my daughter-in-law’s baby shower this weekend. A group of her twenty-something year old friends and I celebrated the upcoming arrival of little Macallan Jon, due next month. This was a great setting for people-watching, one of my favorite activities.

My daughter-in-law and the other young women were lovely, each uniquely so. As they interacted I sensed the warmth of long-standing friendships. Also present were ever-so-subtle cues of insecurity. I recognized them right away, because of my close association with insecurity over the years.

Comments demeaning their own physical appearance.
Nervous expressions of self-doubt for not being a good friend.
An overly inflated air of confidence.

I smiled to myself as I remembered all the times I beat myself up for not being good enough in social settings, and I thanked God for walking with me to a place of acceptance. As an older woman with grandkids, I don’t compare myself with others like I used to. (Please know, I still struggle at times, but I’m not brutal to myself like I was as a younger woman.) I’m not trying to confirm my value, because I experience Christ’s deep love for me. Not in a general way — “for God so loved the world” — but in a very specific, personalized way. I know that I know that I know that I am loved and worthwhile. This knowledge helps me to lead and serve others well.

If I could give a gift to a younger generation of women, it would be an awareness on a soul-level of their immeasurable worth, based not on performance but on the grace and devotion of the Lord. I would impart to them some life-giving principles.

  • Your value is not determined by your physical appearance or the size of clothing you wear.
  • Your value is not based on how well you perform at work or how well you manage your household.
  • The harsh words of your spouse, parent, or friend do not diminish your value in any way.
  • You don’t have to prove your worth.
  • You are precious and priceless, loved dearly and fiercely by the Lord. Period.
  • Just be.

My youngest daughter recently self-published her first book entitled Be. The book is a romance. It is neither realistic or practical, and she didn’t intend it as that. I really like some of the lines spoken by Jasper, the main male character. Jasper’s words convey the value and worth of his beloved, Scarlette.

“You are who you are. And that is utterly stunning.”

“Please know this. Darling, you are desperately beautiful. Your shattered heart bleeds beauty. Your soul cries beauty. Your mind radiates beauty. Everything you are explodes beauty.”

“Just be, my darling. Because you are seen. You are enough.”

When I read these words, I imagine that Jasper is symbolic of my Jesus. Can you imagine that with me? You are the beloved of the Lord. You are desperately beautiful to Him. He sees you. You can cease your striving. Through Him, you are enough. Just be.

I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer (Psalm 94:18-19 NLT).

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1).

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV).

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your love and acceptance. Open my eyes to see the ways that I try to prove my worth. Let me rest in the knowledge that I am Your beloved and nothing I do will make it more true. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Be by Jordanne M. Babcock is available on amazon.com.

 

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Posted in Character, Faith

The Art of Acceptance

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God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971) is one of the most popular prayers today, and was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1940s. It has been used as an inspirational saying for wall hangings, posters, and digital images around the world. People are familiar with the first part of the prayer, and may not realize there is a second part.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

The Serenity Prayer communicates beautiful simplicity of faith. It offers hope of a life lived in peace and surrender despite difficulties. Simple truth, but not easy to practice.

One thing I have been learning about myself lately is how important it is for me to be in control. Since childhood, I have developed a pattern. No matter how overwhelmed I feel inside, I do not allow it to stand in the way. Sometimes the internal battle is intense and it requires God’s strength to help me do what needs to be done. This strategy has served me well (although there are also some unhealthy results that I’m working through).

Since experiencing the armed invasion of my home four months ago, I have struggled with anxiety attacks and flashbacks. It is lessening in frequency as time goes on, but when they appear there doesn’t seem to be any trigger, showing up from nowhere. My tendency is to fight. I get frustrated by the interruption, but my ability to push forward doesn’t work. It only makes things worse.

So I am learning the art of acceptance. Rather than resisting, as soon as I feel anxiety I acknowledge its presence. “Oh, here you are again. Something must have triggered you. It’s going to be okay.” I invite the presence of Jesus and practice relaxation techniques. Strangely, acceptance removes the power from anxiety. It removes the power from other hardships, as well.

Acceptance of the hardships we face does not mean we are being complacent, ambivalent, or resigned. It does not mean we ignore, minimize, or pretend. Rather, acceptance is the conscious choice to relinquish control and have faith in the Lord. It is the determination to surrender to His Will.

We do need wisdom to determine whether we should make changes or accept things that cannot be changed. Many situations require a combination of both.

With aging bodies, addiction, disability, chronic illness, and terminal illness, we do what we can to promote health, but we cannot heal ourselves.

In relationships that are strained or broken, we own our part for the hurt we have caused, change our unhealthy behaviors, and do what we can to promote reconciliation, but we cannot change the other person or make them participate in the reconciliation process.

In the realm of leadership, we must be diligent to prayerfully develop strategic plans, work hard to realize goals, and make adjustments as necessary, but we cannot control external factors that impact outcomes.

We trust the Lord for courage to change the things that can be changed. We trust Him for serenity to accept the things that cannot be changed. As we do that, He helps us enjoy the pathway of peace.

I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
~Psalm 121:1-2

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.