There have been times that my relationship with Jesus has felt dry. I can fulfill my “duties” as a follower of Jesus and a pastor, but if I’m not watchful, I slip into going-through-the-motions mode. I know better. God in His great mercy calls me back to my deep desire for Jesus.

Over a decade ago, I joined a cohort that changed my life. Everyone in the group was involved in church ministry, either as a pastor or a pastor’s wife. We were living for Jesus, serving Jesus, and yet feeling spiritually empty. It was there I learned that the way of Jesus doesn’t begin with doing. Doing emphasizes the external, not necessarily the condition of the heart. Following Jesus starts with being—longing to be in God’s presence and filled with His presence.

Being a disciple of Jesus begins with desire.

Desire is the deep yearning for knowing Jesus more and finding true life in Him.

Ruth Haley Barton, spiritual director and spiritual formation expert, says that Jesus “often brought focus and clarity to his interactions with those who were spiritually hungry by asking them, ‘What do you want? ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ Such questions had the power to elicit deeply honest reflection in the person to whom they were addressed and opened the way for Christ to lead them into deeper levels of spiritual truth and healing.”

Mark 10:46-52 NIV
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”
So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Bartimaeus shows us what desiring Jesus looks like.

Cry out from the place of need.
“Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

It wouldn’t be unusual to encounter a beggar on the side of the road. This road in Jericho was busy, even perilous. There sat Bartimaeus.

Suddenly, a crowd approached. Bartimaeus had highly developed senses that alerted him something significant was happening. He noticed the noise down the street, the pounding of feet on the ground, and the smell of dust in the air. He heard that Jesus was at the center of it all.

We don’t know exactly how much Bartimaeus knew about Jesus. Perhaps he had heard the prophecy that the Messiah would give sight to the blind. At the very least, he had heard the buzz about Jesus, the one who performed amazing miracles, including healing the deaf and restoring sight to the blind. Bartimaeus recognized that Jesus was someone special. He understood that Jesus could give him something far better than money. Jesus could restore his sight.

Bartimaeus was not timid. He didn’t care about being polite or offending anyone. He was in a state of desperation. He shouted, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

It can feel intimidating to acknowledge our needs, let alone express them openly. Most of us want to appear in control and have our lives in order. We can be completely honest with Jesus. There’s no shame in struggling or admitting we aren’t where we want to be in our relationship with Him. We can allow ourselves to be vulnerable. By recognizing our deep dependence on Jesus, we are free to pursue Him.

Here’s another remarkable aspect about Bartimaeus. He was one of the first disciples, apart from the inner circle of apostles, to declare Jesus as the Messiah. The title Son of David was specifically reserved for the Messiah. Jesus never corrected him or told him to stop proclaiming His Messiahship.

Let’s remember who we cry out to in our times of great need: Jesus, the Messiah, God the Son, the Lover of our Souls, who loves to make Himself more deeply known to us.

Leave behind your cloak.

When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus had called him, he immediately threw aside his cloak, jumped up, and went to Jesus. This action is astounding.

If you lived in Palestine during the first century, your cloak would probably be your most valued possession. You likely could afford only one. Cloaks were costly, thick, and heavy garments designed for multiple purposes. You would wear it as a coat in cold weather and use it as a blanket at night. Bartimaeus would spread his cloak in front of him during the day to collect any coins that passersby might toss his way. For Bartimaeus, his cloak was all he had. It served as protection from harsh weather, a blanket at night, and a tool of his trade.

It would have been understandable for Bartimaeus to cling to his cloak as a precaution. Just in case Jesus couldn’t or wouldn’t heal him. Just in case his sight wasn’t restored. Just in case he had to keep begging for the rest of his life.

But Bartimaeus had no backup plan. He trusted in Jesus completely, and he knew that his encounter with Jesus would change his life forever.

Do you have a cloak? Do you find yourself hiding or isolating? Do you rely on predictable comfort, self-protection, or self-sufficiency? How do you feel about casting aside your cloak and running to Jesus with trust? Do you want to be well? Do you believe that Jesus is more than enough? You might need time to wrestle with these questions. When you are ready, know that Jesus is waiting. You can cast aside your cloak and run to Jesus. Let your desire lead you to Him.

Name your desire in Jesus’ presence.
Jesus asked blind Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?” He is blind. Jesus can see clearly that he is blind. Naturally, he wants to regain his sight. However, there is power in naming your desire to Jesus. Jesus wants him to express it because doing so makes Bartimaeus’s need clearer and enhances his faith.

Bartimaeus didn’t hesitate. “Rabbi, I want to see.” He named his desire. Jesus didn’t need dramatic gestures. In a moment, without any fuss, Bartimaeus received what he had asked for. Suddenly, Bartimaeus could see. His darkness had ended, and the sunshine replaced it.

Jesus’ words affirmed Bartimaeus: “Go, your faith has healed you.” There was a prevalent belief that disabled individuals were more sinful than others or that sin played a role somehow. But, Jesus emphasized Bartimaeus’ faith. Sin had not caused his blindness; his faith led to his healing. He stepped forward despite the crowd’s opposition and trusted Jesus wholeheartedly.

Sometimes we hesitate to express our desires to Jesus. In these moments, silence is not golden. Pride can stand in the way. Fear can stand in the way. Feeling unworthy can stand in the way. None of these feelings come from God. The devil can wreak havoc in our minds when we remain silent and hesitant to speak out. When we declare our needs to Jesus, the darkness of secrecy is stripped away.

Similar to Bartimaeus, Jesus invites you to voice your needs. When you do, your needs become clearer, and your faith is reinforced. Jesus is lovingly attentive; He longs to meet you at your point of desire. He wants to transform your life.

Follow Jesus in a new way.
“Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.”

Jesus said, “Go.” Bartimaeus now had the freedom to go wherever he wished. He chose to follow Jesus and set off with the crowd. They made their way to Jerusalem in time for Passover. Bartimaeus had another special reason for going. He intended to make a sacrifice at the Temple to thank God for restoring his sight. Bartimaeus was no longer a helpless beggar; he had been given a new life.

God gives sight to the blind. God opens our eyes to see Jesus too. When we are healed from spiritual blindness, we understand who Jesus is and surrender to His way. We come to Jesus with desire to pursue Him and to know Him more deeply. A desire so intense and profound fills our hearts, ready for expression.

Following Jesus is more wonderful, amazing, freeing, powerful, and life-giving than we can ever wrap our minds around.

Ephesians 3:17-21 NIV
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

The Way of Jesus is about being with Jesus before doing for Him. It’s discipleship. It’s following Jesus closely because of our desire for Him. First things first.