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Vulnerability is tough, especially in our social media age. Rarely do we see a post where a person’s hair is disheveled and their make up is not done. No, we make sure the camera is at the right angle. We apply filters and crop our pictures just so. People tend to show their best sides in pictures, even when their lives are falling apart.

I learned a new word in a pastoral cohort I attend. It’s “fauxnerbility.” The word “faux” (pronounced fō) originates from French and means “imitation” or “not sincere.” As we glance through our social media feeds and stories, how many of them show off an imitation version of themselves? How often does the text say the right words with a subtly insincere undertone? You and I don’t get off the hook that easily. What do we see in our own pictures and posts?

Photo credit: Min An

Vulnerability is an important element of authenticity. Unless we feel that it is safe to share honestly about what’s going on in our lives, it will be impossible to be authentic.

Self-protection and self-preservation kick in. We start by pulling out fauxnerbility from our bag of tricks. We won’t allow others to see what’s really going on in our minds and hearts.

As the pastors in our cohort had conversations about the challenges of being truly and sincerely vulnerable, the Holy Spirit convicted me about my own lack of vulnerability. I don’t want to be fake, but I have adopted ways of deflecting honest vulnerability. I will open my soul ever so slightly to allow people to peek in, but at some point, I decide they have seen enough and I close the door. They seem appreciative of my openness to share. But, they don’t realize how little I showed them.

I have many years of acting and entertaining experience. Throughout junior high and high school, I performed in orchestra, show choir, drama, speech, and debate. I took voice lessons the entire time and into adulthood. I took piano lessons as a young adult. I brought all of it into worship ministry, and then later pastoral ministry.

I can smile. I can speak with ease. I can pray with others and in public. And, I know how to show other people that I care. None of those skills is fake per se. But sometimes I can’t tell where the servant of Jesus ends and the performer takes over.

Another vulnerable-avoidance technique is to leave the talking to someone else. I really enjoy listening to other people’s stories. I prefer much more to hear them share than talk about myself. Again, it’s hard to tell when my authentic concern gives way for reluctance-to-be-vulnerable to take the floor.

I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit equips me for transformation. I yearn to be vulnerable and authentic.

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ (Ephesians 4:15).

I want to grow up to be like Jesus. I strive to be fully vulnerable and authentic. Now that the Holy Spirit has pulled off the cover of fauxnerability, I am less likely to utilize it as a familiar friend. With newfound awareness, my first growth step is to be vulnerable with you about this area in my journey with Jesus!

Jesus wants us to be free. If my story speaks to you, be encouraged that the Holy Spirit will work in your life too.

In order to thrive in life and leadership, we must be willing to embrace being vulnerable and authentic. We must be determined to reject being fauxnerable. Are you ready? Jesus is ready for you!

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation, for you I wait all the day long (Psalm 25:5).