During Spring Break, Jonathan (my husband) and I picked up some of our grandkids to take them to the beach, more than a three-hour drive from their place. The closer we got to our destination, the more excited they became. We passed the last town, with sixty miles ahead of us. It was a remote highway with barely any traffic and spotty cell phone coverage. And then, thirty miles in, it happened. A flat tire.
Jonathan pulled off the road onto the shoulder, next to some grass and a small hill dotted with brush.
Our Tesla comes with no spare tire as standard issue. We were stuck.
Our grandkids played contentedly while Jonathan tried to get help on his phone, which kept dropping the calls. It took forty-five minutes before one of the grandkids could no longer hold back the tears.
An astute child, she explained, “I don’t like it when things feel outside my control, when I don’t know what’s going to happen next. It feels so hopeless.”
I understand those feelings all too well. All my life, I have battled anxiety and tended to catastrophize at the hint of something going wrong. I have also learned to hope in the Lord. He has taken care of me during terrible situations. Now I can override triggers unless they are really big.
I hugged our granddaughter and said, “I don’t like this situation either. There are so many unknowns. What I do know is that there is hope because God will take care of us. I don’t know what it will look like, but I believe everything will be all right.”
What is hope? It is more than wishful thinking. I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow. Hope is a tenacious certainty and a joyful expectation of God’s goodness grounded in His promises.
Eventually, Jonathan connected with a towing company, Les Schwab tires, and Enterprise car rental—all located in the town we had already passed through. It took an hour for the tow truck to arrive and almost another hour to reach Les Schwab. The driver was a character, freely chatting about local history and mysteries. He was more than willing to satisfy our grandkids’ curiosity. Enterprise had already closed, but they dropped off the rental car at Les Schwab. After a four-hour delay, we arrived safely and gratefully at the motel.
God transformed our misadventure into an adventure. It was a valuable lesson for our grandkids and a powerful reminder for me. Our God is the God who gives us hope. He loves us and cares about every detail of our lives.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13 NLT).
My daughter, Jessika, developed an interest in fashion, but she didn’t start out that way. In her younger years, she didn’t care much about her hair or what she wore. Then, in her junior year of high school, she competed in the Junior Miss pageant where she learned how to walk in high heels and dress professionally. Jessika won first place in the pageant and went on to the state competition. Her interest in fashion and hairstyles skyrocketed. Today, with teenage twins of her own, she still keeps up with the trends and lets me know when I fall too far behind the times.
Trends change, but in some areas of society, there are dress codes and expectations regarding how a person should dress. Depending on the occasion, if you don’t comply, you may be asked to leave.
If you attend the Oscars, wear a tuxedo or an evening gown. The superstars go out of their way to wear one-of-a-kind designer clothes to showcase their style, but they still adhere to the code. If you visit the White House, you can dress more casually. Out of respect, they ask that attire be business professional and modest. No jeans or T-shirts are permitted. Dresses should reach past the knee. You won’t be kicked out if you don’t comply, but you will likely stand out. If you have an appointment with the Pope, the tradition is to wear black suits and dresses. Clothing must be modest, with shoulders and midriff covered. Women should wear black lace. The only exception is for Catholic queens, who are allowed to wear white.
Jesus told a parable about a wedding feast hosted by a king. When he entered to see the guests, he noticed a man who was not wearing wedding clothes. He asked, “How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?” The man was speechless. The king ordered his attendants to tie him up and throw him out.
I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear. Jesus cares more about our hearts than our clothes. As followers of Jesus, we have a dress code. It’s actually a motivation and behavior code. There are attitudes and actions we need to take off, and there are attitudes and actions we need to put on.
Colossians 3:1-14
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. 12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Set your mind on things above (verse 3). The original Greek word for “set” means “to think” or “exercise the mind.” Focus on, and exercise your mind regarding God’s kingdom. The cross of Jesus has two sides: Death and resurrection. Both of these aspects relate to the follower of Jesus. You have died to your old nature, which is linked to who you were in the past. You are alive in Christ and now connected to a resurrected life with Him.
Two types of life are described in the Bible: the soul life we inherited from Adam and the spirit life that comes from God. It’s the second kind that is described here. Your true life in Christ is eternal and secure, but it is also hidden. Think of a pearl in an oyster shell. You are concealed and enveloped in Christ.
When Jesus comes again, we will come with Him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature, your old self. “Put to death” means – turning it into a corpse, decomposing completely. Sin was and still is very much alive. We must be dedicated to putting sin down, and we have the power when we submit to the Holy Spirit.
In verse 5, Paul illustrates the old nature. He continues by stating that in Jesus, we are called to a higher standard. “You used to walk in these ways, but now rid yourselves of these…”
The old behaviors are inconsistent with your identity in Christ. Don’t settle for that old, inferior way of living. A new life in Jesus calls out to you. You are a butterfly; don’t crawl like a worm.
Then Paul goes on to say, “Clothe yourselves with…” (verse 12).
As followers of Jesus with a new life in Him, we strive to live as He did. Above all, God looks at our hearts, from which our behavior flows.
Keep in mind that the pagan religions of that time said little or nothing about personal morality. What a person believed had no direct relationship with how they behaved, and nobody would condemn them for their actions. God’s ways are different.
Christ is all and in all. The Holy Spirit dwells within every believer, regardless of any external factors. Discrimination and disrespect based on race, gender, religion, address, political affiliation, social status, or other factors have no place in the kingdom of God.
As followers of Jesus, we embrace our new identity in Christ and focus our thoughts on things above. Our way of life isn’t rooted in self-discipline, self-denial, or self-improvement; rather, it is a life led by the Holy Spirit, reflecting the reality of Christ within us. This is who we are now. We concentrate on the kingdom of God, allowing our actions to be directed by Christ’s authority. We stand firm in His victory and rely on Him through the trials and challenges of life.
There’s nothing in this world like following Jesus.
The last verse in the section says, “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Overall… pay attention… this is the most important thing. When you put on love, all will be well. Put on love. Wrap yourself in His love from head to toe. Knowing and putting on the love of God is the most crucial thing we can do.
Jesus said, “Love others as I have loved you.” By embracing love, we can share His love with others. We will actively engage in His mission.
Are you clinging to a part of your old self? Surrender it to Jesus. Out with the old; in with the new. Through the transformative power of the Holy Spirit.
Last week I attended my fortieth class reunion. A few days before, my daughter asked me what I would tell my eighteen-year-old self. I thought hard about it and decided to write myself a letter. There were actually so many things I wanted to share. I could probably write a book, but I condensed it to a letter. Here’s what I decided would be important.
Dear Eighteen-Year-Old Self,
I’m here to share some wisdom gained over time that you might find hard to believe or understand. Still, I hope you’ll hold onto these words and keep them in mind for when the time is right.
You love Jesus, which is the best foundation for life. He has changed your heart in many ways, and your passion to follow Him every day will give you strength. As you seek to know Jesus more, you will be transformed to become like Him. That is your deep desire, but it won’t happen the way you imagine. The journey is long and not easy.
Right now, you believe that faith will protect you from suffering and sickness. If you have enough faith in the Word of God, you will be blessed with financial and personal prosperity. That’s what you’re being taught now, and you look to your mentors as stellar examples. However, this is an incomplete teaching. In fact, this way of thinking actually diminishes faith, making it about you and what you can gain rather than how you can bless Jesus and others.
The way of Jesus is the way of sacrifice and suffering. Our human nature hates accepting this truth. Nevertheless, it is part of God’s upside-down Kingdom where true meaning is found.
The path of Jesus is one of sacrifice and suffering. Our human nature resists accepting this truth. However, it is part of God’s upside-down Kingdom where true purpose is discovered.
Following the way of Jesus means to sacrifice.
~The first shall be last. ~Carry your cross every day. ~Love your enemies. ~Take care of people who cannot repay you. ~It is more blessed to give than to receive. ~Turn the other cheek. ~Be a servant of all.
Jesus left the perfection of heaven for us. He ministered to the crowds even when He was exhausted. Jesus stayed true to His mission despite being misunderstood, hated, and ultimately crucified. He laid down His life for us, the ultimate sacrifice. You already know all this, but you haven’t had many chances to practice it. Life will require you to sacrifice more than you can imagine. View it as a way to love Jesus and others as Jesus loves you.
Following Jesus involves accepting suffering.
You may face the consequences of your own choices or end up in a broken world filled with broken people. Sometimes, it will make no sense. Even during the darkest moments – and they will come – Jesus, through His Spirit, is always there.
When we suffer, it opens a door to our soul if we lean on Jesus. Suffering smooths out the jagged edges of who God has created us to be. There will be seasons in life that are excruciating. Suffering is the crucible in which you will learn to trust Jesus more, along with perseverance.
You might hit rock bottom. Know with all your heart that Jesus is with you as your Rock. He will uphold you, and keep you from drowning.
You are loved by the God who has given you everything. He loves you and values you unconditionally. You don’t need to strive for perfection. His love for you isn’t based on your performance. Understanding the depth and profoundness of Jesus’ love will bring you true freedom.
You will not find validation through people, not even your husband. Over time, you will realize that God’s promise to teach you His “love through your relationship with Jonathan” means something different than you expect. In your marriage, you will face trials and pain together. Jesus, through His Spirit, will surround you with the love you long for. You will experience His enduring faithfulness. You have found the one in whom your soul delights.
However, life is not meant to be lived alone. You can’t grow in your relationship with Jesus in isolation. Being part of a community is essential—a small group of people with mutual love, accountability, honesty, vulnerability, and trust. It may take a while to figure this out, but someday you will discover the life-giving blessing.
Your life verse will be: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, and all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:29-31). Aim to live this out in every way.
There are many more lessons I’ve learned, but you’ll discover them along the way. You have what it takes as you spend time with Jesus, become like Jesus, and do what Jesus did.
Grace and peace to you! ❤️
Your fifty-eight-year-old self
Maybe you aren’t eighteen years old, but something in this letter touched you. Keep it close to your heart. We are all on a journey of faith, becoming more of who Jesus created us to be, if we let Him. Jesus has the wholeness of soul you seek. He will sit with you in your brokenness. Often, He will bring healing; other times, He will give you the strength and hope during your weakest moments.
Trust Jesus to work in your life, no matter if you’re eighteen or eighty-eight (or older).
Change can be good. I don’t like it, but I know that change can be good. Change for change’s sake is a waste of time. But purposeful, innovative change breathes freshness and vitality.
On a personal level, though, I like to stick with a routine, to play it safe and feel comfortable.
Sometimes, though, Jesus calls us out of our comfort zones. He might lead us in a different direction or to a new ministry. He might ask us to stay where we are, but to make adjustments that turn the place around.
I started blogging in 2013 with a few breaks here and there. My purpose was to help my readers thrive in life and in leadership. I thought I would put my Doctorate in Strategic Leadership to use. My premise was that when people thrive in their relationships with Jesus, their leadership thrives as an outflow. When we walk with Jesus, He empowers us to be effective in what He has called us. When leaders thrive, their ministries thrive, and God is glorified.
However, the past two years I have sensed a shift in focus. There are lots of blogs and podcasts out there on dynamic leadership with huge followings. Leadership guru Carey Nieuwhof’s tag line is “Thrive in life and leadership.” He didn’t “steal” it from me, but I have used that for more than a decade.
I have been asking Jesus to show me if it’s time to stop blogging or to start over. I believe His answer is that I’m suppose to start over. I love Jesus, I love people, and I love God’s Word. I spend about twenty hours a week studying for and writing sermons for Sundays. Throughout the day, I get thoughts that inspire me in my relationship with Jesus. Why not share those?
That’s what “The J Word” is about – Following Jesus and His Word. It might be a sermon. It might be a short devotional. Whatever it is, I pray that the Holy Spirit speaks to your heart and equips you to love Jesus more.
Let’s be more like Jesus today than we were yesterday. Stay tuned!
Call to Action
Is there an area of your life that Jesus is asking you to change? What is it?
What are you going to change? Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you.
My oldest daughter, Jessika, has a penchant for asking questions. As a little girl (almost from the time she could talk), as soon as I said something, she would ask “Why?” She wasn’t trying to be difficult; she genuinely wanted to know. So I would formulate the most thorough answer I thought possible for a two/three-year old to understand. Again, she would respond, “Why?” The older she got, the longer these sessions lasted. She had an insatiable desire to deeply understand her world. Of course, there were occasions that it was not possible to have an extended conversation.
Sometimes I had to say, “I don’t have time to talk about this right now. You just need to trust me.”
Today as a grown woman with girls of her own, Jessika’s questions are much more complex, and she continues to investigate beneath the surface, seeking to understand the “Whys.”
Asking “Why” can be powerful, leading to discovery and understanding. Our eyes may be open to see the bigger picture more clearly. As we search the Scriptures and seek God in prayer, we learn to know and love Him more. However, there are times when asking “Why” does not satisfy and the answers we receive are simply not enough.
We may never know why. Life can be hard. Life doesn’t always make sense. Amid beauty and joy, there are also unexpected tragedy and crisis, illness, financial set back, and broken relationships. Hardship often leads us to desperately ask, “Why?” God is never offended by our sincere questions. He promises to give us His peace, comfort, and strength. However, He never promises to give us answers.
Hebrews 11 commends the men and women who lived by courageous faith and received God’s promises. It also commends the ones that endured tremendous hardships and suffering. “All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us” (vs. 39-40, NLT). They continued to live faithfully for the Lord without knowing the reasons for their difficulties or seeing the end results of God’s promises.
Job lost everything and suffered intensely. God appeared to him and revealed His glory, but He never explained Himself. Job was restored and blessed, but he was never given the back story that we can read in the first two chapters of Job.
I wrestled for months, even years, asking “Why” my youngest daughter was born with Spina Bifida. One day when she was about two years old and had just experienced a series of medical difficulties, I called out to the Lord, desperate for answers. He gently directed me to Psalm 139:13-16.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed (NLT).
God spoke to my heart, “This Word is true for your daughter. I was not looking away when she was being formed. I oversaw every detail.” That day my questions were not answered, but they were settled.
Jesus is always enough. There are many reasons we may suffer. Perhaps it’s the consequences of our own choices. Maybe it’s the result of others’ sinful and selfish actions. Or we may suffer because we live in a broken world fallen from God’s original perfect design. It might be a spiritual attack. Regardless of the reasons, knowing the “Why” does not take away our pain.
In John chapter 9, Jesus passed a man who had been blind from birth. His disciples asked him “Why?” Then they offered their best guesses, “Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” (vs. 2). “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him” (vs. 3).
The man was born blind and had lived in darkness his entire life, all to demonstrate God’s glory. That was the answer, the one directly from Jesus. But, what did that mean? The disciples could have kept asking questions. In that moment, though, even with the best answer, the man was still blind.
But Jesus didn’t leave him there.
Jesus touched the man and healed him. Jesus opened the man’s physical eyes and he could see all the images that had for decades been hidden from view. Jesus opened the man’s spiritual eyes and he could clearly see the Light of the World and worshiped Him.
In that moment, there were no more questions. He had found the answers in Jesus Christ.
Life is rarely neat and tidy. We may never receive an satisfactory answer to our soul-searching questions this side of heaven. However, we can find God at the heart of every unanswered questions, and He can absolutely be trusted.
In the midst of all our challenges, all our heartaches, and all our questions (whether answered or not), the loving, healing presence of Jesus will always, always be enough.
We will thrive in life and leadership when we rest in Him.
If you’ve followed my writing on social media or my blog, you know that I strive to be positive and uplifting. With so much pain in our world, I want to share the hope found in Jesus. Sometimes, though, life isn’t pleasant. When we only show the positive, filtered side, it becomes inauthentic. Others wonder what’s wrong with them when everyone else seems struggle-free.
In the spirit of transparency, today was a hard day. My daughter, Haven, has been seeking medical help for over a year for on-going and increasing pain. She has gone from doctor to doctor, from specialist to specialist. She was finally referred to the experts in Seattle (three hours away), and her appointment was today.
I had arranged transportation a month ago and confirmed it a week ago. Yesterday, the company called with our pick-up time of 6:30 am, plenty of time to make it to the hospital. Everything was set. Then today, things fell apart. Our ride was delayed. We called the hospital to explain our situation. The receptionist advised that the clinic was closed, but we could come and find out if they would see us when we arrived.
We got there an hour late and rushed to the neurology surgery clinic. That receptionist looked surprised when she saw our appointment time. I recounted what had happened. She went to speak to someone in charge. She returned with a smile on her face. “They said they will work Haven into the schedule.” Haven and I sighed with relief.
Ten minutes later, the receptionist approached us. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “The doctor is too busy to see you. I’ll schedule you a new appointment.” I suggested that we wait and see if there were any no-shows. But, we left the clinic with our new appointment in hand. A telehealth appointment. Couldn’t we have had a telehealth appointment in the first place?
Haven was devastated. We stopped at two bathrooms so she could cry. There was nothing I could do to fix things. Once again, she had been the recipient of the systemic failure too common for disabled and marginalized people who rely on those systems. And so, Haven has yet another month of waiting in pain.
We got home and Haven cried some more. This time I joined her. We cried and yelled and cried some more.
Sometimes a little rant is good for you.
As Jesus-followers, and especially women, we are told not to express “negative” emotions. Sadness, depression, and anger are signs of a lack of faith and self-control. When we feel them, we either dismiss them, refusing to experience them, or we keep them a secret and pretend they don’t exist in our lives. Being human, though, means that we have emotions. God has given them as a gift.
Throughout the Book of Psalms, the authors cried out to God in the midst of suffering, persecution, and betrayal. They acknowledged their pain while trusting the Lord.
Jesus Himself expressed “negative” emotions. He felt anger toward the Pharisees (Matthew 23), and lamented over Jerusalem (Luke 13:34-35). He wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35). And, He always, always trusted His Father.
I don’t doubt God’s goodness and faithfulness to me. However, people and the systems they create can be broken and cause harm. Life can just be plain ole hard. When that happens, it’s okay to rant a little, while, at the same time, finding hope in Jesus.
The J Word 